Change Is Good
I watched this movie about this lady, a radio talk show presenter, who was about to marry to a good looking surgeon. As they were preparing for the wedding, something tragic happened to them. They were viciously beaten by some gangsters for no reason, and she was badly wounded and the fiancé was killed. After her recovery, she bought a gun, seeking revenge on the people who killed her fiancé. In the process, she killed a robber, two black guys in the subway, a pimp and a mobster. She then met a detective who was assigned to those cases and they became friends not knowing that she did it. Later on he remembered that she was the lady who was badly bashed up by the gangsters and that his fiancé was killed, he asked her how did she managed to cope with what had happened to her. She simply said, “I changed into another person.” And the story goes on to show how she managed to track down the murderers.
I was thinking to myself about what she said; “I changed into another person.”
Sometimes as we go through life - situations, circumstances and people, make us changed. We changed so we can learn from our experienced. We changed to adapt to our new environment. We changed to protect ourselves. We changed so that we could live a better life. We changed to better ourselves. We can never go through life and pretend that our hurts, adversities and ordeals had never happened. That would be denial.
As I look back the last two years of what had happened to me, I really wonder how I managed to cope with it. First, I was diagnosed with larynx cancer and had to go through 33 courses of radiotherapy. Then, when I thought everything was over, there was a recurrence and I had to do a 10 hour surgery, where the doctors removed my larynx (voice box). And that procedure could have taken my life. And in between that, I had some bad experienced with friends, whom I thought were people that I can trust and depend on. Instead I felt so betrayed by them. I don’t wish to go into details. Anyway, I have learned to live by this principle, “Be encouraged by those who are still with you, rather then be hurt or discouraged by those who disappointed you.” Why cry over spilled milk?
And because of my surgery and the outcome of it, I’ve also learn to adapt to this new body. I know when I’m about to cough out the mucus, how to communicate, know how to take my shower without getting the water into the stoma, I know how to wash my hair, know how to swallow my food without getting choked and a lot of other things that are connected to my new condition. And now I hardly go out with a big group of people – and that makes me “anti-social.” Well, it really doesn’t matter what others think now, I have learned that too.
I will not try to please men anymore because at the end it is me, who will be unhappy and not doing what I ought to do. I want to be me, a human being who loves God and living for God alone and also having fellowship with His creation regardless of whether they are Christians or not. And I will do what I can to help my fellow human beings of their needs and to bring them to the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. I always say that you should never to be obligated to men, because by doing so, one day you will make them your god. Be thankful to God for friends whom He has bought your way, in good times or bad times. Be grateful for them, especially when they give you a helping hand in times of needs. But then, if you are obligated to them, then you are at their mercy. You lost your freedom. and soon you will be a slave to them. And like I say, they will one day be your god! I would rather be at the mercy of God and enjoy my freedom in Christ Jesus. And be a slave to no one but Christ Jesus. When the Lord chooses slaves, they become his free people. And when he chooses free people , they become slaves to Christ! So the only person that I will always be obligated to is Jesus Christ – my Saviour! But I’m always thankful for all the wonderful friends that He has brought my way.
Yes, I’ve have changed into another person. I need to evolve to survive in this new environment. And the changes must help me be a better person, and not the other way round. My personality is still the same. In the Old Book, it is said; “The old has gone, and the new has come.” So here I am trying to live what God has thought me: Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I keep pursuing the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus. I keep pressing on! And I know I can never do it alone – but I know He is always there to carry me through. And even if I am faithless, God will remain faithful