DanielYKL

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

 ___________________________________________________ 

Reply: 

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create  SnoringLoudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Sexy Dress 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

 (This is unhealthy for children! If you are 18yrs and below, get your parents permission!) 

And did I, the Lord God create Helen and Eve?  NO!  NO!  NO!

I, the Lord God created Adam and Eve, man and woman - not Helen and Eve. Adam I know. Eve I know. Steve and Helen? That I don’t know! Who are they?

(This is unhealthy for children! If you are 18yrs and below, get your parents permission!) 

 I know some of you men feel awkward looking at these images here. Some might blushed. Some look with digust.. Some might feel ashamed to even look at it. Some laughed. Some might not even want to look. And women? They might say what has happened to manhood? What has ever happened to my man? What is this world coming to? Are we just a reproductive agent for mankind?

But the reality is; this is happening in the world we live in today. Men are marrying men! Women are marrying women! This is a confusing world. Who is the man and who is the woman? Which is which? I’m sure God must have look down from heaven and weep. Men has rebelled against me again. Men has gone against the flow of nature.

I, The Lord God created Adam and Eve, man and woman - not Adam and Steve!  Eve I know, Steve I don’t.

Mark down these dates. Be there. Be part of the event. (If you are a drummer it’s not too late to sign up) Be a prayer partner.  Worship the Lord with drums and cymbals! The event dates are 7th, 8th and 9th September 2007, Friday 4pm to Sunday 6pm. Where? Sungai Wang Plaza

Spread the word and get more drummers in to join this event. Every drummer counts! Need your support and encouragement!

www.drummerforchrist.com

Maybe some of you have read this before, and if you have not then I encourage you to spend a few minutes going through it. I’ve read his testimony a few years ago, but then a friend emailed it to me again and when I read it again, tears flow from my eyes. Who am I to complain? Read on and be blessed!

My name is Nick Vujicic and I give God the Glory for how He has used my testimony to touch thousands of hearts around the world! I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth “defect”. As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles.

“Consider it pure joy, my Brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.”

….To count our hurt, pain and struggle as nothing but pure joy? As my parents were Christians, and my Dad even a Pastor of our church, they knew that verse very well. However, on the morning of the 4th of December 1982 in Melbourne (Australia), the last two words on the minds of my parents was “Praise God!”. Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors we shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and Nick now has a Brother and Sister who were born just like any other baby.

The whole church mourned over my birth and my parents were absolutely devastated. Everyone asked, “if God is a God of Love, then why would God let something this bad happen to not just anyone, but dedicated Christians?” My Dad thought I wouldn’t survive for very long, but tests proved that I was a healthy baby boy just with a few limbs missing.

Understandably, my parents had strong concern and evident fears of what kind of life I’d be able to lead. God provided them strength, wisdom and courage through those early years and soon after that I was old enough to go to school. The law in Australia didn’t allow me to be integrated into a main-stream school because of my physical disability. God did miracles and gave my Mom the strength to fight for the law to be changed. I was one of the first disabled students to be integrated into a main-stream school.

I liked going to school, and just try to live life like everyone else, but it was in my early years of school where I encountered uncomfortable times of feeling rejected, weird and bullied because of my physical difference. It was very hard for me to get used to, but with the support of my parents, I started to develop attitudes and values which helped me overcome these challenging times. I knew that I was different but on the inside I was just like everyone else. There were many times when I felt so low that I wouldn’t go to school just so I didn’t have to face all the negative attention. I was encouraged by my parents to ignore them and to try start making friends by just talking with some kids. Soon the students realized that I was just like them, and starting there God kept on blessing me with new friends.

There were times when I felt depressed and angry because I couldn’t change the way I was, or blame anyone for that matter. I went to Sunday School and learnt that God loves us all and that He cares for you. I understood that love to a point as a child, but I didn’t understand that if God loved me why did He make me like this? Is it because I did something wrong? I thought I must have because out of all the kids at school, I’m the only weird one. I felt like I was a burden to those around me and the sooner I go, the better it’d be for everyone. I wanted to end my pain and end my life at a young age, but I am thankful once again, for my parents and family who were always there to comfort me and give me strength.

Due to my emotional struggles I had experienced with bullying, self esteem and loneliness, God has implanted a passion of sharing my story and experiences to help others cope with whatever challenge they have in their life and let God turn it into a blessing. To encourage and inspire others to live to their fullest potential and not let anything get in the way of accomplishing their hopes and dreams.

One of the first lessons that I have learnt was not to take things for granted.
“And we know that in all things God works for the best for those who love Him.”
That verse spoke to my heart and convicted me to the point where that I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these “bad” things happen in our life.
I had complete peace knowing that God won’t let anything happen to us in our life unless He has a good purpose for it all. I completely gave my life to Christ at the age of fifteen after reading John 9. Jesus said that the reason the man was born blind was “so that the works of God may be revealed through Him.” I truly believed that God would heal me so I could be a great testimony of His Awesome Power. Later on I was given the wisdom to understand that if we pray for something, if it’s God’s will, it’ll happen in His time. If it’s not God’s will for it to happen, then I know that He has something better. I now see that Glory revealed as He is using me just the way I am and in ways others can’t be used.

I am now twenty- three years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting. I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today’s teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector.
 
I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.

I have many dreams and goals that I have set to achieve in my life. I want to become the best witness I can be of God’s Love and Hope, to become an international inspirational speaker and be used as a vessel in both Christian and non-Christian venues. I want to become financially independent by the age of 25, through real estate investments, to modify a car for me to drive and to be interviewed and share my story on the “Oprah Winfrey Show”! Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year. It will be called “No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!”

I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it’s God’s will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What’s worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a “box”. The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can’t do anything without Him. Once we make ourselves available for God’s work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God’s!

May the Lord Bless you
In Christ,
Nick Vujicic

(Oyoung Wen Fen and his partner Angel posing for a chinese magazine)

I have been wanting to write about the so called Gay Church that the Metropolitan Community Church from the US is going to set up in KL in the year 2010.  I know of people reaching out to the gay community, with the hope of helping them get out of their lifestyle. But they don’t condone their practices or behavior.  But this so called “pastor” Oyoung Wen Feng is different. He is a self-confessed gay who is cohabitating with a gay partner who is from Puerto Rico with a feminine name of “Angel.” And further more, they are going to get married soon. They believed and approved of same-sex marriage. I don’t know how they interpret the Bible to justified themselves with their lifestyle and behavior but I’m definitely sure the Bible does not approve of such act. These are the people who give Christianity a bad name and a wrong perception to the world in general.  And I really wonder where did he get his doctrine from. These are the people who twisted the Word of God for their own benefit and purpose. I remember John Lennon once said that, ” Religion is good, but it is the people who interpret it that is bad.” I guess he meant people like Oyoung Wen Feng.

Hey, it’s ok to start a Church that has the burden to reach out to the gay community, after all, Jesus did say that it is not the healthy who needs a doctor, but the sick, - but not a Gay Church that endorsed gay lifestyles. You don’t go to a doctor to let the doctor tell you it’s ok to be unhealthy. You go to a doctor to seek healing - you want to get well.  And to be that person for God to use to reach to the gay community, you, yourself must be a reformed person, one who has been transformed be the power of God. One who has walked out of the gay practice and lifestyle. You must be a testimony for God, so that you can proclaim that God can transform lives. Or else how can God use you to bring these people out from their present lifestyle. In the same senario, just imagine a pastor who is a drug addict, starting a drug addict church, reaching out to the drug addicts -and telling the congregation, ”hey, it’s ok to get high, I just got high too before I stand here and preach.” 

No, it’s not ok! You have to get yourself right first. You have to let God help you get out of your present lifestyle, God does not approve of such act, in fact God detest it. This is not of God. There is no where in the Word of God that says it’s ok to practice gay lifestlye or same-sex marriage. Be a new creation! Say goodbye to the old lifestyle and start a new one with God.

Anyway, I have friends who are gay but I don’t condemn them, neither does God condemn them just because they are gay. He still loves them and wants them to come back to the Truth.  He wants them to come back to His arms not into the arms of their partners. As the saying goes, “God loves the sinners but it is the sins that he hates”  God loves you and me, no matter who or what we are and God will forgive all your sins. After all, Christ Jesus died for you and me and the entire human race, whether you are gay, drug addict, alcoholic, lawyer, doctor, engineer, prime minister or just a housewife.

By the way, there won’t be a Gay Church here in Malaysia – read below an email that was forwarded to me.

Shalom!   

Good News! Good News! I couldn’t wait to share with you a piece of good news! The Gay-church is not allowed in Malaysia! Please share this good news around. Your prayer and efforts against the Gay-church is not in vain. Do keep up the struggle.   

Today Sin Chew reported about a comment by Tourism Minister Tengku Adnan. I purposely scanned the news for your reference. Let me translate it:  

“Tourism Minister Tengku Adnan says that the government will strictly ban the first gay pastor from setting up the Metropolitan Community Church, which is meant to serve the homosexuals, Lesbians, bisexuals, as well as the transsexuals.   

Today when he was asked about Oyoung Wen Feng plans to set up the Metropolitan Community Church in Malaysia in 2010, he says that the government will ban such a plan from coming to pass, because Malaysia is a country that is suitable for all in a normal family to visit.    Malaysia is a multicultural country; all citizens are abiding by the laws, and are submitting to their respective religious doctrines.   

In Malaysia, should anyone being convicted of homosexual acts, the highest punishable sentence is 20 years in jail, or to be caned.”   

Many Christians are disappointed with The Star. It has given prominent columns to the Gay-church twice. It would be good if somebody could represent the Churches and ask for an equal coverage by publishing our official statement. Could someone tell me is the top Editor Mr. Wong Chun Wai a Christian?    The Association of Christian Youths Malaysia is still heading a group of pastors about this Gay-church issue. Please pray for us.   

Thank you and God bless you.
Rev Allen Tan

There is a saying “everything must change – nothing remains the same.” How true! Look at our lifestyle, our world, and even the climate. And many of us don’t even noticed the changes because we ourselves are so caught up with the changing world, that we hardly take the time to notice it. We just drift along.

Take the example of food:

As I remembered Char Koay Kak used to be just the Koay Kak fried with dark soya sauce, soya sauce and char por. That’s it! Later on taugeh was added, then chili, then eggs.  And today they have seafood Char Koay Kak

And Curry Mee. Used to be with just cockles, cuttlefish, tau pok, cooked blood and sometimes small prawns. Now you can have curry me with char siew, fish balls and long beans. And in some places you can even have big prawns, curry chicken and giblets, squids, etc. And one bowl of Curry Mee can cost you more than RM8, depends on the extra.

The same with Hokkein Mee, Originally, Hokkien Mee is served with just thinly sliced small prawns and pork, and some have a quarter hard boiled egg. Today Hokkien Mee like Curry Mee can cost just as much with extra, pork ribs, big prawns, egg, fish balls, char siew, etc.

How about Ban Chien Kueh (Chinese Pancake) – It was just with grounded peanuts mixed with sesame seeds and sugar. Then later on margarine and eggs are added. Today you can have it with, corns, raisins, banana, cheese, sausages, tomyam and just about anything.

And our good old Roti Canai – not only you can have your roti with banana, eggs, cheese, sardine, jam. Milo, milk, etc, they also comes in different shape, size and thickness. And they have strange names like Roti Osama, Roti Japan, Korea, US, and whatever country they can think of. Asked the Japanese whether they have heard of Rot Japan, and they will scratch his head and laugh.

Yes our food will revolutionized whether we like it or not and it but it will be so subtle, we can hardly notice it.